I once saw an episode of the Super Nanny, where she told a father that being a Dad wasn't a job where you clocked in & out of, it was full time 24/7 job. And I couldn't agree more!! As a mother I am at my job 24/7, there is no break for me.
I love my hubby, he does so much for us. He does work 2 jobs, 1 he works Mon-Fri & the other one he works every Sat. While I appreciate all this, I would really love for him just to help me with the kids every once in awhile, I don't think that's too much to ask, but I could be wrong.
Like today for instance, he is going to cut some firewood & Chandler wanted to go with him. I told him to ask his Dad, he said he didn't have room. His truck seats 4 people & he only had 3 in there. I told him that it was wrong of him not to let Chandler go, when he really wanted to. He tells me that it's always about me & what I want. And somehow I always get what I want. I'm always amazed that everything seems to be about me, never the kids. I tell the kids that they can stay with me, but they want to go. This is me, not them. It's not as though I tell them to ask their dad. I'm afraid one day they will get tired of it & want nothing to do with him. William is already feeling that way because Robert always takes Chandler places & the heck with William & Steven. Work is tough, but spending time with your kids isn't work & you shouldn't treat as something you have to do or hate doing.
I have been a SAHM for the past 4 yrs. Yes, I love the fact that I can be home with my kids, but I too long to have a break. I used to work part time when William was 4 & Chandler was 2. Then I got pg with Steven & I worked until 3 wks before he was born. But I have always wanted to go back. It just didn't make any sense for me to get a job making $8 an hr, 40 hrs a wk, to make $320 gross a wk, to pay $300 a wk in childcare. That's a pretty expensive break for mom. Since then I have applied for several jobs that seem to want to pay less then what my old job was paying & it's not enough to pay bills & daycare. Even when I worked, I still took care of the kids & the house all by myself.
I have no problem giving Robert a break, but when do I get one? I can't go many places by myself since I breast feed & Braeden doesn't take a bottle. At least Steven would take the occasional bottle & I could go to the store. When I do go somewhere, I have to take Braeden & at least 1 more kid. Most times it's Steven, Braeden & I. I love my kids, & I love my hubby, I just need some "ME" time!!!
AHHHH! I SO hear ya, girl! I've decided that we are just wired differently, that men just flat out don't understand. I was talking to DH about a book called Sex starts in the Kitchen, or something like that. I heard about it from a friend. Talking about how women need so much more than men and that doing that dishes can get a woman in the mood--or taking the kids outside and telling mommy to get in the tub. How stuff like that was a surefire turn-on. The next day, I came home and dh had cleaned the kitchen, done dishes and the put the kiddo to bed. He was wanting something. :) But I REALLY enjoyed it. I think that we just have to be more concise about what we need from them.
ReplyDeleteKnow that you're not alone in this!!
Are we married to the same husband? I swear men will NEVER understand!
ReplyDeleteAww, I'm so sorry! I totally know what you're talking about. I need to get away and get "me" time and I only have ONE baby! I can't imagine not getting that with FOUR! You're doing a great job, Mama! And hopefully your husband will start helping out! Hugs!
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